Like most people, I really know how to cut loose after work on Fridays...

Just back from the Liberals' rally in Etobicoke, such as it was. Since I'm in Toronto writing/editing stuff, rather than on the road, this was the first Martin event I've caught live during the campaign. So, if not entirely original, my impressions might be a little fresher than those of the poor bastards following him around 24/7 trying to find something new to say about his stump speeches.

I could focus on what Martin had to say, but that - like the speech itself - wouldn't be very interesting. It was standard stuff, reasonably well-delivered but entirely vacuous. And he's still on about the bloody aircraft carriers, which is starting to get really tiresome.

Now, as for everything else, let's just say a lot has changed since 2000.

Tiny crowd, overflowing only because the organizers wisely booked a room rather than a hall (this week's rally of chiropractic patients at Queen's Park drew more people). Zero energy. And as for the presentaion, total amateur hour.

Say what you will about the old Chretien crowd, but they knew how to throw a rally. There'd be a crisp introduction, a solid entrance, and by the time the PM got to the stage the energy level would be peaking.

Tonight, the proceedings begin with Jean Augustine taking the stage with an extremely dull ramble about pluralism that somehow manages to incorporate the word "E-day," which I've never heard used in a speech before. The audience is polite, but unengaged.

Augustine gives way to Albina Guarnieri, who can barely be seen from behind the microphone. Even she doesn't seem quite why she's there, other than to annoint Martin the "comeback kid" and to introduce fellow MP Sam Bulte.

Except when she introduces Bulte, Bulte's not there. Apparently someone forgot to explain the sequence of events to Albina, because the next thing Paul Martin is bursting through the door, led by a handful of rather uncomfortable looking teenagers wearing oversized t-shirts that read "Hands off my Charter" and "MRIs not M16s".

Usually, you can tell the candidate has entered the room when the campaign music starts blaring. But not this time. Instead, the theme from Rocky - already playing since Albina was doing her thing (comeback kid...get it?) - continues to play quietly in the background. That is, until Martin is halfway through the crowd and it reaches the end of the song. At that point, we get about 20 seconds of silence from the speakers before Martin's theme song (a rip-off of the New Radicals' one hit) finally comes on.

By the time he gets to the stage, the crowd is finally stirring to life. But then Bulte turns up to give a blustery introduction to...Zack Werner from Canadian Idol.

I have no idea who thought this was a good idea. But for several minutes, Martin stands there cooling his heels while our man Zack gives the equivalent of a really lame "Rock the Vote" pitch. Mostly, he sets about finding really contrived ways to compare politics to his extremely important job of being Simon Cowell's cheap non-union Canadian equivalent. Oh, and he wants us to "represent."

With a different audience - 14-year-old girls, maybe - this might go over a little better. But mostly, we're talking about middle-aged multicultural types who've probably never watched American Idol, let alone Canadian Idol. I'm not even sure they'd be all that excited if Bono turned up again (isn't he do for his weekly visit?), let alone this.

By the time Zack hands the PM the mike, the damage has been done. The crowd does its best, but whatever energy there was is gone. When Martin wraps up, there's no buzz in the air - just a small crowd gathered outside to watch him board his bus.

In the end, it's all a little sad - kinda like in Spinal Tap, when the crowds are getting smaller and the venues are getting sketchier and the band soliders on because it doesn't know what else to do. Only somehow, I don't think Martin is going to find out at the end of this movie that they still love him in Japan.