Last Thursday, in a story on the front of this section titled "Offensive to None," I accused Ashlee Simpson of being "utterly unremarkable."

"She is neither especially witty nor as famously ditzy as her sister Jessica," I wrote. "She is neither warm nor cold; neither unattractive nor unusually striking; neither as edgy as her early marketing sold her nor as sexy as the more recent efforts would suggest. She is just ... there."

Given her assertion that she only reads "really nice" articles about herself, such as the one that appeared the same day as our interview in the Toronto Sun, I'm confident that Simpson was not personally offended by my characterization of her. Nevertheless, I would like to extend to her - and to National Post readers - my sincerest apologies for failing to take into account her actions mere hours before our interview last Wednesday.

A good journalist knows that the best way to gain a true perspective on his subjects is to observe them in their natural environments. As such, rather than simply interviewing Simpson in a luxury hotel suite, I should have joined her out on the town the night before. If I had, I would have known that she was in fact offensive to some - in particular those employed in the fast-food industry - and that she is indeed capable of being remarkable.

Courtesy of video footage since aired on CTV, and subsequently across North America, it is now known that at approximately 1:30 a.m. on Wednesday, a well-refreshed Simpson put on a performance at a Toronto McDonald's that, if not "sexy," was undeniably "edgy."

Captivating an entire fast-food outlet with her loud complaints about inadequate service, awkwardly climbing onto the counter to protest said inadequate service, and offering to lay down a $5-million wager with a McDonald's employee as to whether the restaurant's manager would "be nice" to her? Remarkable.

Responding "Bitch, stop talking to me, I'm nice," when told by the employee to get off the counter, and refusing to pose for a picture with a fan on the basis that "You would not kiss my foot, so f--- you"? Offensive.

If there is a defence for my gross mischaracterization of Simpson as "unremarkable," it might, ironically, be her remarkable ability to appear unremarkable mere hours after such a remarkable performance.

Still, I stand by certain aspects of my article. Observing the video footage of her McDonald's performance, I could not help but notice that Simpson was neither a charming drunk nor a tragic one; neither a foul-mouth flasher, like Courtney Love, nor giggly and overly flirtatious, like so many inebriated young women at late-night fast-food stops. My careful study of the tape leads me to believe she was just ... tanked.